In the age of the “Independent Woman”, “Phenomenal Woman”, “Boss Lady”, I am beginning to wonder if we have over stepped boundaries. This past weekend I have encountered a heavily detailed discussion regarding whether a man should pursue a woman who prefers to be “wined and dined” rather than cooking at home. My personal view on that discussion is that in this generation; men don’t want to have to come out of pocket on dates and such and don’t want to invest in building a committed relationship. However they prefer a woman to be that “independent woman” and Pay for them, Cook for them and Enjoy the perks of committed relationship with no personal investment. In light of this mind-frame that some females have bought into, these same females are taking matters further into their own hands and have decided “if we are going this far (paying for meals, taking care of our men, I love him, he loves me then why don’t I just propose to keep the ball rolling, because he will never do it”. A sad case of events, isn’t it?
While I can understand why this is can be an option and somewhat of a last resort for some women, I on the other hand am not in agreement with this decision at all. One mainly because of my own personal views and mindset of the order of God. I am in agreement that women can run companies, be CEO’s, have their own business but the start and building of the foundation for the family unit, that process must and should begin with the man and that is his pursuit of “Finding” Engaging and Marrying his Chosen wife. This SHOULD Not be up to the woman. A man is a man and by nature men go after what he wants, when he wants it. If he is a man and has “dated”a woman for an extended period of time ( more than 2 years) and has not proposed, he either:
1. Does not see the woman as marriage material
2. Is weighing his options to see if she could “possibly” be “The One” but he isn’t sold on her
3. Doesn’t feel the need to marry the woman because she is already giving him everything a wife would so he doesn’t feel the need to marry her. With these factors in place some women have taken it upon themselves to “hurry” the process and propose themselves. What these women do not realize is that they are taken the man’s natural right of pursuit and have stepped into their role as the man.
The bible is Direct in stating that ” He who finds a Wife, Finds a Good thing and Favor in the Sight of God” (Proverbs 18:22) As a woman who doesn’t want to be seen as a “Good Thang”? When a man finds a woman he is obtaining Favor from God because of that woman. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the favor of God, so let me explain. There is a phrase that Christians say, “Favor ain’t Fair”. Favor is having something that you should not have gotten but because God has blessed you and anointed you, you have access to it. That’s another key word, “access”. When women propose it is giving a man access to you without having sought you out. A friend of mine ( male) once said, “don’t be so quick to drop your panties for a man who would rather take them off you slowly because he worked for it”. The best advice I’ve ever gotten. When we pursue a man to propose we are giving up our role as women and the man cannot step up and take on his rightful role as a leader. As Christians our example is Christ and He pursues our hearts as His bride and we love Him in return for loving us, so the same is the man who finds us should pursue us the same. If we propose we are breaking that order. The same with society, that is how it was. The man sought a woman, pursued her, married her and then “bedded” her or in other words had sex and that is how it was.
Women of this new generation. It it okay to be in charge, to be the boss but let’s not take it ALL away from the man. We should not HAVE to do it all AND propose. Lets bask in the glory of being women and remain treasures that need to be found. Lets enjoy being swept off our feet, being joined together with our Mr.Right and let Him decide that we Are the Mrs. Right and Only Woman for him and he is willing to forsake all other for Our hand.
You are a Diamond, a best kept treasure until its your time to be on display! Until next time, Be You, Stay True and Live SXSI!
One SXSI Lady