I don’t Have to Wait For Boaz & Adam

The past few months of my life has been a whirlwind of just everything imaginable to stir up emotions of every corner of life! Yes it’s been REAL!

First, I had my first successful empowerment event and let me just say the power of GO is what you need to accomplish Anything in life. That and Christ because obviously NOTHiNG is done without Him, whether you agree or not, I’m just saying 🙂
Nonetheless it was a great event and God showed me so much that I am moving full speed ahead in my life because there is SO Much to do.

With that being said, I just had a truly spark of inspiration and need to talk about the subject of “waiting”. Like I said, the past two months have been a mirage of emotions , too plentiful to contain and I am now at the brink of explosion. Not in a chaotic I’m angry way but of Epiphanies, lessons learned and enlightenment I feel led to share, are you ready?

So, as I stated before, my empowerment event “BRAVE Speaks” was nothing short of amazing and God allowed me to have 5 wonderful women speak into the lives of the attendees. After my event, it began. I was in a relationship and leading up to my event, I felt my then boyfriend was not supporting me the way I felt he should have. Nonetheless, after my event things took a turn for the worse. We argued ALOT, we came for each other and I started to feel as though the more work I started to do, the more fighting we did. Building a brand and business takes a lot of time and effort. Most people doing so either aren’t in a relationship or both people are working on something and have created a system to nurture the relationship. In my case, I was at the time the only one working on something of this magnitude. About two weeks after I realized something. If God wants me to do more and I stayed in this relationship, would things escalate? Would it always be an issue? I resolved that if we are not both on the same page in all areas it’s simply not going to work out. Well, that and God clearly said, “he’s not it”. As crushed as I was I had concluded a while back I would no longer let a man hold me back from my destiny and call in Christ.

I expressed this revelation when prompted and needless to say, it didn’t go so well. I prayed for God to help me rid myself of the soul-ties that had formed and although I’m still in the process I have been caught with certain revelations…

Since I am back on the “single scene” a few things rushed into mind. Something I see often especially in the Christian world; “Wait on your Boaz, You Adam is sleeping”… Now me and my sometime cynical and sarcastic self will say something snarky but I honestly feel like “who is Boaz and why must I wait for him” and “let Adam sleep, he’s tired!” I am not a subscriber to this and most Christians might get me for this but honestly, why are you waiting for a man who isn’t yours? Furthermore, why are you waiting in the first place and What are you waiting for? This is something God actually spoke/asked me a few weeks ago. I was a little shocked to hear that but as I began to unpack the question I thought, “what am I waiting for”?


I believe we as single women, single Christian women get so caught up in the “language” of the church that we start to put our lives in these boxes God never intended. I am going to be BRAVE and say, God didn’t and doesn’t ask you to Wait for a Man! (And his name will NOT be Boaz, Adam, or whatever else) He actually says wait On Him! Some of you may ask, “well what does waiting look like”? I’m so glad you asked… The word “Wait” means to : “1. remain in readiness for some purpose, 2. stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens. 3. used to indicate that one is eagerly impatient to do something or for something to happen.”

So now we have 3 definitions to unpack:
I’m going to start with the 3rd one first:

Most of us are in this “Wait” period. We are impatient, not practical and end up settling because we think we know more than God, “I my name is Takima Howze and I am a #3 waiter”! This is not the wait God has In mind nor is this the waiting you should be doing in hopes of having a mate. Your wait should not be impatient. I mean let’s face it, whenever we are this “Wait Woman” what usually happens? We end up with Ishmael’s, just ask Sarai… (Genesis 18)

The 2nd wait is getting closer to the wait God asked of us but not quite. This particular wait stalls you from getting to the third wait. It literally stops you in your tracks before you go head and make a rash decisions based on emotion and that will be steeped in regret later. We must have the spirit of Self Control in order for this Wait to be played out in our life, for some it will be more difficult than others. We can look at Joseph on this one. He was ready to put Mary away and then he realized he needed to wait before he did something he would have regretted. Usually God is stepping in and holding us by the neck collar… believe me I Know!

The 1st one is being talked about last because this Wait is the one God I believe talks about in “Wait on the Lord” and it is HOW we should “wait” on our mates. This can also apply to a position or something we want to get into. This Wait is about Preparing for what’s next. The Bible talks about who runs a race and doesn’t train for it? That would be silly right? So it’s just as silly for you to sit around and “wait” for a mate and you are Not prepared to meet him. You don’t have certain things together in your life, you cannot take care of a home, bills, your prayer life isn’t built, your foundation is shaky. Your ministry isn’t a thought out plan or has even been executed, Girl you got WORK to do! My mama used to tell me “Don’t No man want a Lazy woman”! And trust me if you want a Godly man he is NOT going to Breath in the direction of an UnGodly woman…

So my reason for not “waiting ” for Boaz and why My “Adam isn’t Sleeping”:

1. Boaz was for Ruth and she didn’t wait for him. She was on assignment with her mother in law and he Found her working. He covered her and when it was time he Married her. So why wait for another woman’s man?

2. God understands and knows everything about me. My mate isn’t going to look like what another man because he is specifically designed for me. I’m not going to focus on the perimeters of how Boaz was because my mate may not be that way in character. Trust God with your Own process your Own Mate!

3. My Adam isn’t Sleeping because he is busy Working! I’m just saying, if I’m working, building and planning my mate is on the same page as me, who can sleep and work? No One!


I recognize that this blog may not be favorable to some but I felt a burning desire to share this with my sisters. I really want to see them claim what is Theirs and Not someone else’s. It’s great to take the lessons learned from others and apply it to your life, that is what the Bible is used for. Just don’t take it on so much to the point that you are calling something that isn’t meant for you.

My main message is, don’t just “wait for your mate”, Wait On God and His Timing. Let Him prepare you to be a wife, His vessel for Great Use and as a minister to bring others to Him!

Love you Lots!

Be you, stay true, Live BRAVE!


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